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Thirty-Three Shots

Sunday, 15 July 2012

White Tooth Man - Iron & Wine (mp3)

WEINBERG: "I strenuously object". Is that how it works?
"Overruled!" "No, I strenuously object!"
Oh, then I'll reconsider!

GALLOWAY: I got it on the record.

WEINBERG: You object once, so we can say he's not a criminologist.
If you keep after it, it looks like a bunch of fancy lawyer tricks.
It's the difference between paper law and trial law!
The judge called him an expert!

KAFFEE: Sam, she made a mistake.
-- A FEW GOOD MEN

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
-- ALBERT EINSTEIN

The Republican-controlled House of Representatives has voted 33 times to repeal the Affordable Care Act. According to a little bit of fuzzy math, CBS has reported that the combined costs for these votes and the prior floor debates is roughly $48,000,000 and has occupied roughly two weeks of Congress’ time over just the past two years.

The math is fuzzy, but the greater point should not be lost: Republicans are textbook Albert Einstein-approved insane. And let me remind you, Einstein often forgot to go to the bathroom, so if he’s calling something crazy, it’s super-mega-wack.

“You know who the real bad guy in A Few Good Men is?” a friend asked me once, many years ago when we stumbled on it on cable one night over beer.

“It’s not Jack Nicholson?”

“Hell no. It’s Demi Moore.” I laughed, of course. “No, I’m serious. You think about her character. Not once does she actually make the right decision. Her role in the plot is to keep fucking up Tom Cruise’s job.”

And he broke it down. She forces herself into the defense team by getting Aunt Jenny to sign off on her. She fails to adequately prepare her client Loudon Downey for cross-examination and never catches the fact that he’s lying about hearing the Red Code being ordered. She “strenuously objects” and does other moronic things during trial.

And then the coup de grace. Galloway suggests (because she’s “galactically stupid”) that Kaffee should risk a court-martial by accusing a highly-decorated Marine colonel, on the stand, of a capital crime. Then, when Cruise is stupid enough to agree to do it, she reminds him that he could get in big trouble if he actually follows through with what was originally her idea.

The Republicans are Demi Moore.

The Right invented the individual mandate. They were the first to propose the legislation. They were the first, behind their current candidate for POTUS, to put it into actual practice. And then, when Kaffee (or Obama) agreed to the idea, they turned around and remind him what a dangerous and bad idea it is.

All the while, Galloway is the highest-ranking officer on the team and keeps allowing the two guys to treat her like crap. Which is the only part of her character that sounds more like a Democrat.

Republicans have wasted some $30-40M in taxpayer-funded time hitting the repeat button on “Call Me Maybe” more than 30 times.

Hey, I just lobbied you
And this is crazy
But here’s ObamaCare
Appeal it maybe


There may be no bigger single example of what is wrong about the conservative side of the political spectrum circa 2012 than this. Whine about the wasteful and irresponsible ways of the left while taking up literal weeks of time on an issue they know is going nowhere, solely for some supposed symbolic effect.

They are the little old ant. ObamaCare is the rubber tree plant. The song still sucks and would suck even if covered as a duet between Ted Nugent and Lauren Alaina.

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